No such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing.

‘No such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing’ is one of my favourite sayings. It is a phrase most commonly used when talking about how the Scandinavians live their life and one that is practised in my house everyday. No matter if it's cold, stormy, sunshine, rainbows, cloudy etc we are out and about enjoying our day.

To me this phrase promotes that even in stormy days, life is bright and wonderful adventures are to be had. If we spent our time waiting for the sunny skies, we would miss all the adventures on the other days. I just love this quote more and more. So simple, yet so profound.

I do however love living in Melbourne because our weather is quite neutral, no harsh winters or summers. We also have quite consistant weather patterns, if you track it like I do. I do this so I know what to wear. Winter is chilly, so warm thermals and shoes solve any uncomfortable feelings. Spring is wet and mostly cold in the mornings, with the sun shining strong in the afternoons, so I try to remember to dress in layers. 

Although I'm mostly prepared for myself, my kids have their own ideas how to dress.
Livy yesterday turned up to a chilly spring morning in her bathers. Eventually she was shivering, she chose to put her jumper on. I find it so empowering to allow my children to choose their outfits at all times and especially on days when the weather is a little cold or hot. I find them both being in tune with natural patterns and becoming aware of the world outside, similarly their own sensations are acknowledged as well. My son for two years has only worn leggings and long sleeve tops, all day, every day. He had an experience on a freezing cold winter day that he will never forget and from that day on he always remembered his jacket.

I provide the appropriate clothes in their cupboards and support my two kids to make decisions what to wear and how to dress themselves. If we lived anywhere else in the world I think Mav would have to assess his fashion sense but he is lucky Melbourne is consistently mild. 

Supportive independent dressing has been a conscious set up in my house. From birth we have invited our children to put in their legs, arms, head etc when putting on their clothes.
Their clothes are in low drawers, easily accessible and I provide a stable chair for extra dressing support. I can see a sense of pride and feelings of competence when my two dress themselves.
I love that Mav has even taught Livy, the Montessori coat flip. (Google it :) ) 

As they are still young, I take the layers with me incase they change their mind or in most cases the weather does. However one day it will be one less thing for me to worry about.


Observe more, enjoy most
Vanessa

Toys, love them or hate them?

Toys - Love them or hate them? That is the question. 

I really do have a love/hate relationship with toys. My house has a designated space for them however they still find their way into every room of the house, even under my covers.

Every couple of months I round up toys that have missing parts, haven't been played with for a while or I deem to be an 'active'  toy (such as toys that light up and sing) and off to the Posh Opp shop or landfill they go. 

We have just had a birthday in our house, so after I write this blog it's time for a toy clean up. I try to get the kids involved, either choose to put the toys in a cupboard or donate them so that I'm not doing it behind their back. However when they loose interest I carry on my mission and purge.
Of course there are times, my son will ask 'where is that blue tool box with the orange hammer?' I will point him to the red tool box but he wants the one I have donated. Whoops! 
My reply is always 'you didn't put it back on the shelf and therefore it has been donated to another child.' (A great tip to encourage packing up.)

Toys or 'play objects' as Magda Gerber describes them, have an important role in helping children to understand their world. Whether they are stacking blocks and learning about balance and gravity, role playing by cooking in their play kitchen, creating their visit to the zoo with magnatiles and wooden animals, the list goes on and on. For children, 'Play' is not about entertainment or distraction from boredom, it's all about learning to navigate their world.

I have come up with a list of how I view toys in my house:  

1. I do not have all toys out at once.
To think about not doing this gives me nightmares, and I am far from a neat freak. 
First of all, it is overwhelming for any adult, let alone a child to pack everything away. 
It is also overwhelming for the children to know what to play with if they have so many choices. They will probably not even go near the toy box and if they do they will just dump it out and not put it back again.

2. I aim to provide 'Passive' toys
It is really important to give your children 'toys' that are open ended and simple. A few benefits is that it provides opportunities to be curious and learn. Magda Gerber refers to these as passive play objects. 
She says: "None do anything.  They will only respond when the infant activates them.  In other words our active infant manipulates passive objects."

3. I offer toys connected to schemas and sensitive periods 
In my latest blog I mentioned schemas and similarly, children also grow through sensitive periods which are periods of readiness to learn. Many of these sensitive periods are between ages 0-6years. Use your observation and knowledge of your own child, to ensure that the 'toys' you provide are meeting their individual needs.  For example, if your child is expressing urges to throw and dump, make sure you have balls and buckets. If your child has a particular interest in geography, provide a world map puzzle or Atlas. 

Taking time to observe your child will help create a space for them to learn and grow. A space is more likely to remain orderly and maintained if the children have a sense that the play objects have purpose and provide nourishment for their exploration. 

I think first I should tidy my own room and then I'll tackle the 'Playroom' 

Observe more, enjoy most 
Vanessa

Why all the fuss about 'Play'?

Scrolling my Facebook, I have countless articles on the topic of 'play'.
Play seems like such a simple topic. Give the kids the toys and they will play.
Whats the big deal?

Well...

Children play in order to understand their world and you could say that this is true for adults too.
However somewhere in our timeline of growing up, play is no longer called play, but called work, leisure, competition etc
When we view play as an expression of children to make sense of their world, giving a child a toy that lights up and makes funny alphabet noises doesn't stack up as something that is worth playing with then. Do you agree?

In the beginning, all babies are content to play with their voice, feet and hands. As the child grows up and becomes a walking, talking member of the family, you will catch them playing in ways that mimic you and the primary caregivers. I'm sure you have all been delighted when your child/children have chosen to clean the floors and wash the dishes. Also during this huge growth period of toddlerdom, children have schemas which need to be expressed, such as ordering, climbing, throwing etc (link below for more information). This is where the 'toys' come into the picture.

Observing your child and seeing what schemas they express can really help you choose 'play objects' that wont just sit in the corner of the playroom. My son would line up all his cars in a row and all his toys need to be neatly put away (lucky for me this sense of positioning is still going strong as he cleans up his toys). He still uses his cars to make car parks, and garages, train stations. So buying him cars and trucks does not go to waste. My daughter, strongly expresses the transporting schema. She loves to fill up cups and jugs and take it to the table. We encourage this as her contribution when setting up the water paints.

Children express more than one schema at one time and change interests as they grow. Observing your child in play will give you lots of clues into what urges they are playing out.

With all the emphasis on children's learning through play, there is one very important point - We adults need not teach anything. We get to relax and have fun, following our child's lead and allowing them to follow their interest and urges.

"When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it himself' 

- Jean Piaget 

Through play children learn language, balance, social etiquette, numbers, reading, different roles in society and the list goes on and on and on.

What a gift we can give to our children when we 'observe more and enjoy most' - Magda Gerber

Be gentle on yourself,
Vanessa






For more information
Schemas: http://www.nature-play.co.uk/blog/schemas-in-childrens-play)

The social side of play

The playground is a microcosm of the real world. 

It can be a place we learn to effectively communicate in order to get what we want, 
a place we occupy ourselves out of boredom or a place we mold into what others want, in order to join in. 

The social norms of our communities are acquired out in the playground. And as everything else in our lives, we need to test boundaries, behaviours and watch for responses to learn the real-life lessons.

Through my previous blogs you can see I love to sit back and observe my children in all their glory and mishaps, and the playground is my most favourite spot. The characteristics of resilience, competence, confidence ooze from my two children on the equipment. Always challenging their bodies to new limits. The other aspect that is as vital to their survival is the learned social behaviours that they encounter mixing with their peers. 




I feel that I have only begun to scratch the surface in terms of my understanding of what I am witnessing. However, like most other areas of my role as a parent, I am to provide the environment and sit back and watch the rest unfold. My son, who is 3 1/2 has quite peculiar tendencies when first initiating play with his friends. He will either ignore them or at times he roars quite loudly in their face. We have been fortunate to foster relationships with like-minded parents and allow for the interactions to occur as they do. My preference during these interactions is to not say anything at all and to only step in if things turn violent. Children however sometimes do look to their parents and my advice would be to stay neutral, remain a matter of fact and do not indulge the emotions but rather identify them.   



On the other hand, my 1-year-old is very friendly towards other children, offering them tanbark and food. She meets a lot of confused children and rejection.  With an adult perspective, I see this as a sad thing but her fresh eyes do not interrupt as such. She continues on her quest to make friends and does not let the silence of the other child get in her way. 

The lesson of 'Do less, observe more and enjoy most' (Magda Gerber) is so powerful in social situations. I know that it is hard when you have other parents staring at you after their child has been roared at or when your child is sitting on the slide and won't let anyone come down. It happens to me a lot. 





My first step is to sit away from my children in the playground. It allows for some time for them to work it out without me there if my presence is required.  

The next step is when I come over, I say as little as possible. Only identifying emotions not blaming or victimizing one over the other. 

If things are getting out of hand, I will say to my child it looks like you are needing my help and I will take them 
away from the situation. 




You may ask why is it important to step back and let the children handle their own conflict and afflictions. Because that’s just it, it isn’t a source of negativity for them, it just is an experience. We adults past judgement and have our own bias on the situations. Children can only learn to be independent if they are independently allowed to face reality. When my son roars or ignores he has to deal with the reaction from his peers. If I stop him he will not know that his actions can result in a child not wanting to play with him or be his friend. The result will be because of my actions instead. 
We must trust and respect the child by giving them space to learn the skills and to trust their instincts. We step in when it’s appropriate. I am an advocate for self-directed play, However I also acknowledge that it is my role as the parent to teach them social grace and to provide boundaries for their own safety and wellbeing. This is a whole other area to delve into that requires delicate explanation so I will leave it for another time. However, in the meantime, I will point you in the direction of Janet Lansbury's Elevating Child Care website because this is where I always begin. 


Do you go on regular playdates to the playground? Have you noticed any behaviours your children regularly repeat? How do you manage conflict? 

I would love to hear from you in the comments. 


Observe more, Enjoy Most 

Vanessa 

What do I mean when I say 'Play'?

Play 

What does that word mean to you? 
What images does it bring up? 
Do only children 'Play'? 
Do we parents/teachers have to set up 'play'? 
What is my role in child's play? 

These questions set me off to explore this topic. 

\

As a teacher by trade and now as a mother, my goal is to encourage children to be competent and confident in their own abilities. Magda Gerber's educaring approach provided a base for me and now I leap into the literature from Playworkers such as Peter Gray and Marc Armitage. 
From their research, I now understand that 'Play' is a perfect way for these characteristics to blossom. But first, we adults must get out of the way. 

Peter Gray in his book "Free to Learn" narrows Play to 5 characteristics in chapter 7. 
The characteristics all surround the nature of motivation and attitude the person brings to an activity. 

The first characteristic that he describes, "Play is Self-Chosen and Self-directed" was music to my ears. This has been the framework to my crusade. I see the value in children using their own faculties to manipulate their environment. To have the liberty to move in any direction their little minds might take them. 


My home is set up with open-ended loose parts and toys. I sit and watch my children explore, create and 'play' all day. I sometimes join in and be their puppet waiting for directions as to what they expect from me. With my daughter, it may look like us passing objects back and forward. With my son, he likes to act like certain animals and create worlds around us. 

I have run two Pop-Up Playgrounds in Melbourne and one day hope to do more. The purpose of these pop-ups is first and foremost to provide a space for children to follow their natural desires with the objects and their peers. Secondly, I would like to demonstrate to adults they need not do anything and children are fully immersed without their help. 


My advice from all of this is to 'do less, observe more and enjoy most' 

Provide lots of open-ended play objects, boxes, blocks, even dolls etc. 

Magda Gerber refers to these as passive play objects. she says 
"None do anything.  They will only respond when the infant activates them.  In other words, our active infant manipulates passive objects"


Take a step back at home, in the garden or at the park. What is your role in your child/children play opportunities? Are you creating a space with open-ended materials that they can discover, create and explore at free will? 

Whilst your children are 'playing' take this opportunity to 'play' too

Observe more, Enjoy Most 
Vanessa

What does it mean to observe more and enjoy most?

Over the last four years, I have been studying the RIE philosophy/ Educaring Approach and ‘Play’ in early childhood. And the one quote that I always think about is this one from Magda Gerber.

“Observe more, do less.

                         Do less, enjoy more." Magda Gerber

Observation of anything, your peers, your parents, your self and your children is the key to successful relationships. It gives you time and allows for the understanding of the perspective of the other.

Now those who know me from my teenage years would know that empathy is not a strong point for me. I could practice sympathy, however, to understand someone else’s life, choices and opinion, I very much struggled. Using this phrase has helped me to see that each one of us has a story and has had that influence how we see the world and therefore act in certain ways. From this, I am able to enjoy my relationships and grow them deeper and stronger.

The impact of this phrase in my parenting practice has been the most powerful.  It is a reminder to slow down, to notice the capabilities of your individual child and to revel in what you are seeing.

At the beginning, I would just sit and watch my tiny baby and gush as any new mother would. However, coupled with my reading of child development I began to see so much more. For example, I know that when my 3-year-old is tired and really wants to go to sleep, he will hurry through the bedtime routine, not skip anything because of his sense of order. At this time we must stick to the ‘norm’, if we don’t he will lose it.

Observing a child allows you to see that each will achieve the ‘milestones’ in their own way. You will begin to take note of the steps in between. My daughter who is a little over one has begun to do ‘downward dog’ I remember my son doing this just before he learned to walk. With this in mind, I make sure she has ample room to practice and on different surfaces to build the muscles for balance.

When watching your child play, this quote can help us remember not to interrupt them or direct them, instead learn to value what they are doing and approach their play with a sense of wonder. It is harder in testing situations, such as when a child falls or is struggling to climb or even in a social squabble.  But it is best to wait for when we are needed as we may not be needed at all.

If you have considered this approach I would love to hear what you have observed and enjoyed?

Observe more, Enjoy Most

Vanessa

The power of uninterrupted play

If you think back to the time where you had no responsibilities, no one else to care for, what are some of your special ‘play moments’ that get triggered when you think about an uninterrupted play?

Mine is definitely the time I spent at my grandparent's farm. Wondering for hours in the garden and paddocks pretending that I was on the show Skippy the bush kangaroo. The older I got, the more freedom I had to roam on my bike and to explore with no-one looking over my shoulder directing my attention. I was free and able to follow my own play urges.

 The time for uninterrupted play is vital for brain development and can start as early as birth. It is where we explore our body; make sense of our culture and social interactions, where we express our schemas and passions.

I frequently sit back and observe my children from afar. It gives me immense joy watching them interact with their environment with innocent eyes and minds. I love watching Mav turn his kitchen into ‘Engine House’ which is his dads co-working space and trying to work out what they actually do there. Livy lies on her back rolling from side to side feeling the weight move around her back and shoulders. More recently she climbs onto a small armchair and stands up with no support, beaming with delight in her new found balance.

However, these uninterrupted opportunities to play have come about through a very thought out and prepared environment.

The first very important lesson I have learned is to have a ‘Yes’ Space. Thank you to Janet Lansbury  (I suggest following her, it will change your life)

A ‘yes’ space is a closed off area in your home, where the child is able to roam free without supervision. Janet describes it as if you were locked out of your house and your child was inside, you know they would be completely safe.

In my old house I gated a whole room but now I am in a house with open plan so I have put two playpens together to ensure adequate space for crawling and exploring. If you have two children or more they each need their own ‘Yes’ space because together they are not safe.

The second lesson is the importance of having a mixture of passive toys and lots of loose parts (recycled or natural) to enrich children’s play. A passive toy is one that does not do anything and is versatile. A child can transcend from what an object is ‘actually used for’ and manipulate in ways the child sees fit. These items promote problem solving, self-direction, investigation and the list goes on.

To give children the right materials and an effective play space provides them with a freedom to create, explore and make sense of the world. 

What do you think are the ingredients for play? What works in your home or center? Do you see the benefit of having a designated play area? 

What are some of your children's favourite play objects?

Observe more, Enjoy Most

Vanessa

Mastering Through Repetition

A lot of parents ask me about which playgrounds to go for nature experiences, climbing structures for little ones, risky play etc 

Whilst all very important questions, the big lesson that I have learned, is to 

go to the same park regularly.

Children need to feel safe to explore. Parents need to feel that their children are safe to let them explore.  Being familiar with the equipment, the surroundings allows for optimal exploration of the playground.

Every playground has different opportunities and some have the same. The more the child is familiar with the playground they will take on different challenges, repeat the same moves on the equipment and each time learn something new.

We have been lucky enough to have a playground at the end of my street. My daughter was a non-mobile baby when we first got there. She would lie on the grass and roll, however, each time she would move closer and closer to the playground. The first equipment she explored was the slide – climbing up and down – slowing herself with her feet to make sure she could go up again. 1 year has past and she has found the tall slide with the long stairs, the rocking seat which she can get into her self and lately the swing.

My son who is 3 is the same. Each time we have gone to the park and on average once a day, has found something new to challenge his abilities. He began by hanging upside down on the bar on top of the slide and now is reaching to the high bar and lifting up his feet to swing around.

Children are not bored of playgrounds – we adults get bored of the same scenery. Children find new ways to use the equipment on their own or with others. The more comfortable they are in the environment the more likely they will test their abilities and learn something new.

Observe More, Enjoy Most 

Vanessa

I would love you to share some of your favourite playgrounds you and your children enjoy and why?

And please share any lessons you have learned from watching your children at playgrounds - I have a few more that I hope to share it in a later blog post.