What does it mean to observe more and enjoy most?

Over the last four years, I have been studying the RIE philosophy/ Educaring Approach and ‘Play’ in early childhood. And the one quote that I always think about is this one from Magda Gerber.

“Observe more, do less.

                         Do less, enjoy more." Magda Gerber

Observation of anything, your peers, your parents, your self and your children is the key to successful relationships. It gives you time and allows for the understanding of the perspective of the other.

Now those who know me from my teenage years would know that empathy is not a strong point for me. I could practice sympathy, however, to understand someone else’s life, choices and opinion, I very much struggled. Using this phrase has helped me to see that each one of us has a story and has had that influence how we see the world and therefore act in certain ways. From this, I am able to enjoy my relationships and grow them deeper and stronger.

The impact of this phrase in my parenting practice has been the most powerful.  It is a reminder to slow down, to notice the capabilities of your individual child and to revel in what you are seeing.

At the beginning, I would just sit and watch my tiny baby and gush as any new mother would. However, coupled with my reading of child development I began to see so much more. For example, I know that when my 3-year-old is tired and really wants to go to sleep, he will hurry through the bedtime routine, not skip anything because of his sense of order. At this time we must stick to the ‘norm’, if we don’t he will lose it.

Observing a child allows you to see that each will achieve the ‘milestones’ in their own way. You will begin to take note of the steps in between. My daughter who is a little over one has begun to do ‘downward dog’ I remember my son doing this just before he learned to walk. With this in mind, I make sure she has ample room to practice and on different surfaces to build the muscles for balance.

When watching your child play, this quote can help us remember not to interrupt them or direct them, instead learn to value what they are doing and approach their play with a sense of wonder. It is harder in testing situations, such as when a child falls or is struggling to climb or even in a social squabble.  But it is best to wait for when we are needed as we may not be needed at all.

If you have considered this approach I would love to hear what you have observed and enjoyed?

Observe more, Enjoy Most

Vanessa