What does it mean to observe more and enjoy most?

Over the last four years, I have been studying the RIE philosophy/ Educaring Approach and ‘Play’ in early childhood. And the one quote that I always think about is this one from Magda Gerber.

“Observe more, do less.

                         Do less, enjoy more." Magda Gerber

Observation of anything, your peers, your parents, your self and your children is the key to successful relationships. It gives you time and allows for the understanding of the perspective of the other.

Now those who know me from my teenage years would know that empathy is not a strong point for me. I could practice sympathy, however, to understand someone else’s life, choices and opinion, I very much struggled. Using this phrase has helped me to see that each one of us has a story and has had that influence how we see the world and therefore act in certain ways. From this, I am able to enjoy my relationships and grow them deeper and stronger.

The impact of this phrase in my parenting practice has been the most powerful.  It is a reminder to slow down, to notice the capabilities of your individual child and to revel in what you are seeing.

At the beginning, I would just sit and watch my tiny baby and gush as any new mother would. However, coupled with my reading of child development I began to see so much more. For example, I know that when my 3-year-old is tired and really wants to go to sleep, he will hurry through the bedtime routine, not skip anything because of his sense of order. At this time we must stick to the ‘norm’, if we don’t he will lose it.

Observing a child allows you to see that each will achieve the ‘milestones’ in their own way. You will begin to take note of the steps in between. My daughter who is a little over one has begun to do ‘downward dog’ I remember my son doing this just before he learned to walk. With this in mind, I make sure she has ample room to practice and on different surfaces to build the muscles for balance.

When watching your child play, this quote can help us remember not to interrupt them or direct them, instead learn to value what they are doing and approach their play with a sense of wonder. It is harder in testing situations, such as when a child falls or is struggling to climb or even in a social squabble.  But it is best to wait for when we are needed as we may not be needed at all.

If you have considered this approach I would love to hear what you have observed and enjoyed?

Observe more, Enjoy Most

Vanessa

The power of uninterrupted play

If you think back to the time where you had no responsibilities, no one else to care for, what are some of your special ‘play moments’ that get triggered when you think about an uninterrupted play?

Mine is definitely the time I spent at my grandparent's farm. Wondering for hours in the garden and paddocks pretending that I was on the show Skippy the bush kangaroo. The older I got, the more freedom I had to roam on my bike and to explore with no-one looking over my shoulder directing my attention. I was free and able to follow my own play urges.

 The time for uninterrupted play is vital for brain development and can start as early as birth. It is where we explore our body; make sense of our culture and social interactions, where we express our schemas and passions.

I frequently sit back and observe my children from afar. It gives me immense joy watching them interact with their environment with innocent eyes and minds. I love watching Mav turn his kitchen into ‘Engine House’ which is his dads co-working space and trying to work out what they actually do there. Livy lies on her back rolling from side to side feeling the weight move around her back and shoulders. More recently she climbs onto a small armchair and stands up with no support, beaming with delight in her new found balance.

However, these uninterrupted opportunities to play have come about through a very thought out and prepared environment.

The first very important lesson I have learned is to have a ‘Yes’ Space. Thank you to Janet Lansbury  (I suggest following her, it will change your life)

A ‘yes’ space is a closed off area in your home, where the child is able to roam free without supervision. Janet describes it as if you were locked out of your house and your child was inside, you know they would be completely safe.

In my old house I gated a whole room but now I am in a house with open plan so I have put two playpens together to ensure adequate space for crawling and exploring. If you have two children or more they each need their own ‘Yes’ space because together they are not safe.

The second lesson is the importance of having a mixture of passive toys and lots of loose parts (recycled or natural) to enrich children’s play. A passive toy is one that does not do anything and is versatile. A child can transcend from what an object is ‘actually used for’ and manipulate in ways the child sees fit. These items promote problem solving, self-direction, investigation and the list goes on.

To give children the right materials and an effective play space provides them with a freedom to create, explore and make sense of the world. 

What do you think are the ingredients for play? What works in your home or center? Do you see the benefit of having a designated play area? 

What are some of your children's favourite play objects?

Observe more, Enjoy Most

Vanessa

Mastering Through Repetition

A lot of parents ask me about which playgrounds to go for nature experiences, climbing structures for little ones, risky play etc 

Whilst all very important questions, the big lesson that I have learned, is to 

go to the same park regularly.

Children need to feel safe to explore. Parents need to feel that their children are safe to let them explore.  Being familiar with the equipment, the surroundings allows for optimal exploration of the playground.

Every playground has different opportunities and some have the same. The more the child is familiar with the playground they will take on different challenges, repeat the same moves on the equipment and each time learn something new.

We have been lucky enough to have a playground at the end of my street. My daughter was a non-mobile baby when we first got there. She would lie on the grass and roll, however, each time she would move closer and closer to the playground. The first equipment she explored was the slide – climbing up and down – slowing herself with her feet to make sure she could go up again. 1 year has past and she has found the tall slide with the long stairs, the rocking seat which she can get into her self and lately the swing.

My son who is 3 is the same. Each time we have gone to the park and on average once a day, has found something new to challenge his abilities. He began by hanging upside down on the bar on top of the slide and now is reaching to the high bar and lifting up his feet to swing around.

Children are not bored of playgrounds – we adults get bored of the same scenery. Children find new ways to use the equipment on their own or with others. The more comfortable they are in the environment the more likely they will test their abilities and learn something new.

Observe More, Enjoy Most 

Vanessa

I would love you to share some of your favourite playgrounds you and your children enjoy and why?

And please share any lessons you have learned from watching your children at playgrounds - I have a few more that I hope to share it in a later blog post.