The Magic of Nature Play

The Beach, The Magic Beach

We walked through a path that led us to the rocks on

the side of the beach. The tide was out and the water was shallow. 

One child leading us across the rocks, the other stopping to notice the little shells between them.
One child continued to climb to the end of the rock path, the other immersing herself in the sand. 
One child fully clothed digging holes to create ponds and the other stripped down to splash about in the water. 
One child making an island to stand on as the tide comes in, and the other having a bath in the ponds her brother made. 
One child discusses the island of Australia, whilst the other creates songs about her Island love. 

Neither one wanted to go to the beach, resisting and chose to sit and watch the skaters at the skate park. However once there, they were totally immersed in the environment. I had to keep adding money to the parking meter. We had no buckets and spades, no towels, no bathers, just us and the beach. 

From afar the beach looks plain, sand and water. But once you are there it is a sensory delight. The textures, the animals, the smells, the sounds all bring the calm and joy we crave. 
The ordinary is truly extraordinary. 

The magic of nature play. Each one of us can interact with the environment as we desire. No prescribed ways of play. No competition and no prior abilities or milestones needed. From the youngest of us to the oldest, we can arrive at the beach or the reserve allowing our interests to lead us. 

I love knowing that no toys or equipment need to be brought to these play dates, just food and for some reason a lot of it. Watching the joys of families in these spaces has given me so much insight to the power of playing in our natural environments. 

Watching children who meet each other for the first time, helping to climb trees, build cubbies or move large logs, whatever it is, it is usually some form of team work every single time. Navigating mixed ages and personalities, and even children navigating their parents fears and worries. Life lessons that will be essential moving forward. 

My list of the benefits are so long, they touch every part of the human experience, physical, emotional, social and not only for children. 
I invite you all to come along to nature play days or next time you are meeting another family or friend, choose a natural environment. Relax and watch the magic take place. My mantra of “Observe more, enjoy most”, comes alive during these times. The joy you feel observing or taking part in nature play will surprise and inspire you.  

Parenting free from punishment

I can recall many times I was punished at school, at home, even times I've punished my friends for not doing 'right' by me. We get punished by police, the legal system, governments and often I even punish myself with negative self talk.

What would it be like to parent kids without the use of punishment? Would this create kinder and more competent, self motivated kids? 

I have read the book by Alfie Kohn ‘Unconditional parenting’ and many more authors such as Adele Farber, Elaine Mazlish and my all time favourite Magda Gerber, who have a similar view, that punishment does not belong in the parent-child relationship. Each author explains the power of natural consequences and how when parents give space for their children to experience these, there is a deeper and longer lasting impact on the child’s wellbeing and behaviour.  

However with all the readings under my belt and all the theory in my head. When I am pushed to anger or frustration I catch myself getting very allured by punishment.

When I reflect on what is really going on for me in these moments, I can see that my reaction to my child’s behaviour is actually just a reaction to my own negative emotions. For example, I may feel embarrassed in front of other parents or frustrated that my daughter is screaming so loud or angry that my son is not listening to me. So in order to get rid of the frustration, embarrassment and anger, I react with a quick fix - punishment! “If you do not walk to the car with me right now, we are not going to come back to the park for the rest of the week!”

I feel extremely fortunate to be supported by the Bright Training which empowers me to take responsibility for my own thoughts and sensations. With this training parenting without punishment feels so natural and easeful. I have seen in my own experience that the few times where I have chosen empowerment rather than punishment, it has been very beneficial for both myself and my children. I am discovering ways to really listen to my kids and see them as pure and perfect, needing guidance rather than punishment. 

The other day at Nature Playgroup, I found myself moving from one group to another listening to unkind behaviour. Children teasing each other and intentionally leaving other children out. My mind began to fill with feelings of embarrassment, guilt, shame, anger…
I wanted to change what was happening and my first thoughts were to tell the children off. Give them a punishment such as, “If you don’t stop you will sit with me on the picnic rug!” 

Relaxing with these intense feelings, I was able to speak to the children with an open heart. Taking them aside one by one and reflecting kind and loving speech. Asking them to reflect on what was going on and to rather act with a kind heart. The behaviour did not stop straight away and they chose different children to target. However I remained unharmed by my negative thoughts and repeated the kind instructions, knowing that children are just learning how to navigate their social world.  Not too dissimilar to us adults ;) 

Reflecting on that morning I was very proud that I could communicate that I love the children even when I was not thrilled by their behaviour. As a parent I wish for my children to be kind, competent and secure. I know that for this to be possible, I need to model that behaviour myself. It’s so obvious that my kids do as I do, not as I say. 

Observe more, enjoy most
Vanessa


Resources: 

Adele Farber and Elaine Mazlish https://www.fabermazlish.com/

Alfie Kohn: https://www.alfiekohn.org/UP/

Bright https://www.bright.how/

Magda Gerber https://www.magdagerber.org/resources.html

No longer chasing happiness

'Don't worry, be happy!' 

'Look at the bright side!'

'Happy go lucky!'

'Happy wife, happy life!' 

From a very young age I have been sold the ‘Happiness’ message from all directions. I have lived a life believing that this was the ultimate state of being. Choosing my friends, a career, a husband, even where I live, all to make sure I stayed ‘Happy’. 
To tell you the truth, I am definitely not happy all the time and I still feel great. 

I can see that when a child is unhappy it makes me feel uncomfortable. Like something is wrong and it must be fixed. But why do I jump to that conclusion? It's hard as a parent to see my kids be sad, fight and especially cry after they’ve had a fight. It is very common to hear my children whinging or screaming and although I would do anything to not hear those sounds, I've realised it's not my job to make them happy because not only is it an impossible task, it is sending them the wrong message. 

My son is known to throw loud tantrums. He is like a dormant volcano that spontaneously erupts and blows its top. I have read countless articles exploring all types of reasons;  it's because he is hungry, tired, needing connection... All of these well intention articles are suggesting that something is wrong. That sadness, frustration and anger are emotions that we are not meant to feel and that need to be replaced with more positive and happy emotions.

I am so grateful to have recently discovered that by allowing my son to feel all the negative emotions that naturally come up for him, I am supporting him to experience self love.  I am letting him know that he is perfect as he is and absolutely nothing about him needs to change. This is unconditional love!

I can see that by not micromanaging or trying to change the flow of his thoughts and emotions, the emotional outbursts quickly pass and he more easily finds solutions and settles back into being a loving and caring member of the household. Every time without fail, when I don't get involved and I am just available as a support for him to allow the afflictive emotions to run their natural course, he feels so much more content stable and empowered after the eruption.

Here is a tangible example of a time when I did not chase happiness for my son or for myself. My son screamed and complained all the way to a Nature Playgroup I was hosting and then continued to scream with frustration whilst we were there too. I remained calm and supportive even though I was embarrassed and very agitated by the sound of his screams. I did not indulge or avoid my feelings by leaving the playgroup. Rather I trusted in the dynamic nature of this experience and knew that it would ‘disappear like a line drawn in water’ for both of us. He had permission to stay on the picnic rug and not engage with his friends but we were not leaving as I had a commitment. As I suspected, after a while my son was soon laughing and playing with his friend and it was a fun and enjoyable afternoon in nature.

Photo by Jeremy Blode Photography

Through the simple practice of allowing my own thoughts and emotions to be as they were, by not indulging my embarrassment through talking and justifying to the other parents and by not replacing my frustration and anger with more positive thoughts about my son, I was able to remain completely unperturbed and relaxed. This saves me a lot of energy. I can be open and full of love regardless of what my negative thoughts and emotions say. I can be there for my son unconditionally, in the true sense of the word.

Unhappiness, disappointment, anger, hatred, sadness and frustration come and go for both my son and I. They are natural human emotions that are important to fully feel and experience as they are. By denying our children the right to experience, we are telling them that there is something fundamentally flawed about them and that it is not okay for them to be who they are. I want my son to grow up empowered knowing that he is perfect as he is and that nothing about him needs to change.  

This is definitely something that I am practicing for myself and look forward to continuing this journey with the support network of Bright. I feel very grateful to live a life of stability and clarity regardless of whether I have happy thoughts or not. To be empowered to allow myself and others to be as they are, is the greatest gift!  

Observe more and enjoy most,

Vanessa 

https://www.bright.how

Fearless in the face of fear

One weekend away in Surfers Paradise, Elliot and I headed for an adventure to Currumbin Rock Pools. We walked a little way to reach the beautiful waterfall and rock pools surrounded by rainforest. We were fortunate to stumble on some locals who showed us a natural water slide which drops into a plunge pool. As the locals and my husband had multiple turns, I sat back watching, shaking with fear. I thought to myself, "It looks fun but I am way too scared to ever try that!" 

A little nine year old boy bravely climbed up the rocks to attempt the slide. He was shaking profusely and tears streaming down his face. His mum was shouting "You can do it, it's not that scary!" These well intentioned phrases were not helping and the boy was becoming even more petrified. 

My husband climbed up to the top of the slide and sat next to the boy, waiting for his turn. I heard my husband calmly say, "You are okay to feel scared and still have a go." Almost immediately the young boy completely relaxed. It was so clear that just having permission to be scared was all that he needed. 

I watched him take a deep breath and just like that, he slid into the plunge pool. His head popped up, beaming with joy. He jumped out and began to tell his little sister that it's not that bad and he will help her to have a go too. 

The words my husband said, "You are okay to be scared and still have a go," made me ponder about the power I was giving to my own fear. The phrase made me question, “I can be scared? Nothing is wrong? I can still be brave no matter how scared I feel?”

For so long I have chosen not to do things because of my fear. I have missed out on many opportunities because I believed that I could only act if I felt confident or in the absence of fear. 
I feel fear a lot. Fear of missing a bus, fear of rejection, fear of failure. So many times I have held myself back because of fear.

I had one last chance to have a turn on the slide before we started to pack up. I decided that I will take on my husbands advice and have a go even though I felt terrified. 

I climbed up to the top and sat in the rushing water for quite some time. Shaking and praying to something! Anything! I replayed my husbands sentiment in my mind. “It's okay to be scared.” I pushed myself off and whizzed down into the freezing cold plunge pool. I too popped my head up with a beaming proud smile. 

The message to allow fear (along with all thoughts and emotions) to be as it is, is one that my husband and I have been training up in, with the support of the Bright trainings. It is so powerful to know that I can be fearless in the face of fear. To see in my own experience that fear doesn’t need to hold me back anymore. I am fully supported to allow all my fears to be as they are and powerfully move forward with courage, discernment and humility, knowing that no ‘thought’ can ever stop me from being brilliant and of great benefit in the world. 

I can see how this profound understanding of the true nature of fear can also support my children. I no longer need to replace their fear with ideas of bravery. They too are empowered to take beneficial action in the face of fear. For example, my daughter is scared of the dark, rather than replacing her fear by repeating, "There is nothing to be scared of,” I can hear her, acknowledge her fear and support her to relax and let fear be as it is. Suddenly, her fear disappears like a line drawn in water and she falls peacefully to sleep feeling safe. 

If she was feeling scared in a dangerous circumstance, the practice of allowing fear to be as it is gives her direct access to her own clarity and discernment of how to responsibly and powerfully respond. I see in my own experience that when I am caught up in the fear, I cannot see clearly and therefore cannot act in the most beneficial way. 

Whether I am scared of rejection, failure, making mistakes, social awkwardness, social exclusion or dogs in a park! I can completely relax and allow fear to flow on by. The more natural this becomes for me, the easier it is to demonstrate to my children. 

For me this is true and unconditional love, allowing my kids to be exactly as they are and not trying to change ANYTHING about them. 

It is exciting to live in this way, everything feels possible. I love that my kids get to see that they are not limited by their thoughts and that they can be fearless in the face of fear. 

With love, 

Vanessa 

www.bright.how

Allowing ourselves to be as we are.

My son comes home telling me about ‘Naughty Simon’*. My first impulse is to say it’s not nice to speak about someone like that. I then go to explain why that child acts ‘naughty’ due to learning difficulties and impulse control issues.

Reflecting on my response I can see I was trying to change my son’s thoughts. I didn't want him to 'think' or 'speak' that about another child so I was not allowing my son to be as he is. 

When I have my chance again, which I know will occur countless times in our relationship together, I will allow him to feel safe to have those thoughts, no matter how uncomfortable I feel. By allowing a permission field for him to feel whatever comes up for him, I now see that I am also supporting him to experience that all thoughts disappear as quickly as they arise.  

I can see in my own experience that I too have thoughts, that people are ‘naughty’, bad, wrong, mean... Politicians, my peers and even my husband. When I open up the permission field for myself to experience all thoughts without justifying them or wishing them to be more positive, I also experience that they arise and disappear like a line drawn in water. 

I am excited to continue to demonstrate this to my children and in doing so allow my children to be as they are. For me this is true unconditional love. That no matter what thoughts and emotions my children have, I will not try to change them anymore.  I am so grateful to know and see the incredibly beneficial results of raising children in this way. 

*name changed for privacy

Learning the Montessori way

As most of you know I have a passion for providing free and self directed play, especially in nature, for families. I have noticed there is a lot of articles out there stating children need only play based curriculums during the first 6 years of life to become successful and that teaching formal education at an early age is not required. My children are still little however I observe their aptitude for academia and I wanted to write about our experience and how supportive and empowering formal education has been for them, coupled with play.

I have observed first hand all the incredible skills that blossom during play time such as social navigation, resilience strengthening, creativity and imagination development, to name a few. And have a desire to offer these opportunities to my children and to all families. However, due to the observation of my own kids, plus my insight into the work of Maria Montessori, I have my doubts that this alone would have been enough for them.

Since my son was little I've observed his thirst for different languages. When he was 3 years old he would come up with homophones (words that sound the same and have different meanings) and this year he taught himself the Hebrew songs for the Jewish celebration of Passover by listening to Spotify. My son's teachers recognised his ‘sensitive period’ for language and with Montessori tools, he was able to gain a concrete understanding of letter sounds, letter formations and now has a strong basis to read and write successfully which has become his focus at four and a half. The sensitive periods are noticeable times in the child's development where the child can learn specific concepts more easily and naturally.

My daughter attends the Early Learners program at Melbourne Montessori. In this program they are 'helping her to help herself' which is the philosophy that echoes throughout the whole school. She is learning to care for her body independently, given opportunities to strengthen her hand muscles with puzzles and playdoh and is exposed to sensorial experiences such as sound and smell matching games which intentionally introduces the world around her. Although she may come across these skills with well intentioned parents, I know that I have a lot to learn from the very experienced teachers who care for her.

The skills in which my children are learning in their formal school environment are supported by their free play experiences at home and visa versa. Building up the proficiency of self-discipline, concentration and motivation are skills that are empowered both at school and at home. Since birth, we have encouraged independent play using a 'Yes' space coined by Janet Lansbury. A very safe place to play without interruption and any interference from adults as the child is free to do as they wish as there is no safety concerns. This space in our home indirectly strengthens our child’s focus muscle and internal desires to concentrate for long periods of time in their play.

At Montessori school, learning to focus and concentrate for long periods of time is an intentional area of development within the curriculum. Each individual child is encouraged to reach their full potential and building the skills of self-motivation and self-discipline is core in continuing in their life learning journey. These specific skills are embedded into every aspect of the classroom in both unassuming ways such as waiting for their turn at the snack table or more directly in endeavouring to do a  ‘job’ that has many concrete materials the child needs to collect before engaging with the activity.

I believe ‘play’ alone would not be enough for my children. I must admit that I have not seen first hand Peter Gray's 'Sudbury Valley School' or the formal forest school I read so much about. I look forward to one day having the opportunity to visit.

I can see that my children have a huge appetite to learn academia and delve into the world around them and for now I feel so lucky that Melbourne Montessori is available for us.
The school provides a wonderful support to the environment we wish to create for our children to be competent individuals who respect themselves, others and the world around them.

Why the Montessori Philosophy?

Montessori for our family

It’s 5.30am and Mav (4 ½ years old) wakes for the day. He comes down stairs stops by the kitchen to get himself a snack and continues to his play area to build on his carpark from the day before. At 6am his little sister (2 years old) wakes and calls out. Mav goes upstairs, zips her out of the sleeping bag, brings her downstairs and butters her a cracker and makes two bowls of muesli. They sit together, eating and chatting. At 7am my husband and I wake up getting ready for the day.

Now this doesn’t happen every morning, but it is encouraged and happening more frequently. We continue the morning routine with the motto in mind, ‘helping them to help themselves’ inspired by Maria Montessori. The feelings of self-assurance, competence and care for themselves, others and their environment, is my heart wish for my children. These values are deeply embedded in the Montessori philosophy and this is why it is a great fit for our family.

It has been a constant deepening of our understanding of this philosophy, both for home life and school. The home life aspect feel’s pretty right for us because it’s amazing watching our children gain confidence in their abilities more and more. However as a professional primary school teacher, I have had my critical glasses on full force when it came to the school learning. However so far at each stage of our experience at The Melbourne Montessori School, both my husband and I cannot fault it.

The thought and care at every stage for the individual child would be one that I would of loved to give my students when I was teaching. Each child in the class is met at their own level academically, socially, physically and emotionally. The Montessori method is about guiding the child to succeed. Only giving them tasks which the teacher knows they can achieve. Slowly and bit by bit, my son for example was introduced to language through games and story books and then sound games like 'I spy'. At the moment he is at the stage where he has started to read. The words he cannot recall, he works out through his sound knowledge. This is true scaffolding that was tailored to my sons individual needs. He did not need to wait to get support when the rest of the class was ready and he is supported to go as far as he wants. Age, curriculum checklists and teaching resources are not a hindrance.

Maria Montessori studied and observed children in her care. It is something I have also enjoyed to do and I find it a powerful tool in raising my children. One aspect she observed is a child’s sense of order. Like her, I have found my children love order and find it reassuring when they know what happens at bedtime, where their toys get packed away, what days they go to school and the list goes on and on. I invite you to watch Montessori classroom youtube videos, the order and care in the classroom is something I envy for my own home.

(Inside The Melbourne Montessori School  https://youtu.be/O2FanxEK5Gk )

My children love to clean and I know for certain they are not unusual.  Maria Montessori recognized that although adults see this as laborious work, the children love to be involved and do the work that is purposeful. I do not have to ask my children to do chores. They clean the benches, pack the dishwasher, help fold laundry and even clean my bedroom all without being asked. And of course this is very much welcomed. My children feel like contributing members in our house. Mimicked from their classrooms, we have set up in our own home independent drink stations, plates and cutlery that can be accessed by them, all their play objects including art supplies are at their level. My two year old is not independent enough to pack away but this is being scaffolded to ensure her independence one day.

Another aspect of Montessori philosophy which I have seen blossoming between my children is the courtesy and respect they have for themselves and others. These skills are explicitly taught in class and with much encouragement and support it is translated at home. In the cycles of a Montessori school, the children are with three or more age groups. The class is like a family unit. There are the youngest, middle and oldest children and depending on development and readiness the oldest are being taught how to teach, support and take care of their younger peers. My son who is only four encourages his sister by ‘helping her to do it herself’. It is beautiful to witness as he has been treated like that from his teachers and older peers and now in class having this opportunity to treat the younger children with respect and care. The two siblings have countless arguments and fights but I can see that they are open to finding solutions together and are able to work it out with or without my help.

Montessori is one of a few philosophies we adopt in raising our children to be who they are. At the moment, I am witnessing a beneficial cohesion between home and school life. I am enjoying watching my children flourish and bloom.

With a little help from my friends

Nature play is always better with friends.

Since having my first son, I spent countless hours searching the internet for nature playgroups. I wrote to all nature organizations and unfortunately none were happening close to my home. (With nap times this is a necessity) One organization replied encouraging me to start my own ... so I did!

I noticed early on that our experiences in  nature were always enhanced when we had friends with us. It was more relaxing for me, the kids were more creative with their surroundings and the joy was always tenfold.

Finding people to connect with was suprisingly easy. I had to reach out from my core network but thanks to the community and Facebook I have found an amazing bunch of like minded friends. We all encourage and share knowledge about nature spaces and they have even encouraged me to go camping this weekend (first time for everything)

The other struggle is finding nature spaces close by. Our criteria is simple - no playgrounds. A big thank you to Natalie at bush kindergarten because she has found some great key nature spots so close to home. The magic that we have found in these spots always seem to amaze me and invigorate me for the next week.

Playgrounds are not bad just boring. They are all the same, colours and equipment. They do not allow for the same imagination and creativity that flourishes in the bush. However, it's great that we are starting to see some creative spaces pop up around Melbourne.
Nature spaces provide key benefits that playgrounds cant offer.

A few key benefits are:
1. Very few age and ability barriers.
I have witnessed mixed age children finding it much easier to engage with each other in nature as they all come to the space on an equal play field. No one fighting to go up and down the slide, how fast to go on the spinners and who is going to drive the toy car.

2. All 7 senses are stimulated naturally. Before you say that I have made a typo, the two extra senses are vestibular and proprioception. And although these two can be worked on at the playground, the natural setting enhances the experiences and gives them a good work out.

3. Going at the pace of nature and reaping all the benefits nature has to offer. Building our microbiome, reducing stress, learning to take risk... the benefits list is so long, it's amazing!

Grab your friends, find a natural space and relish in the goodness you are providing your children and to yourself.

No such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing.

‘No such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing’ is one of my favourite sayings. It is a phrase most commonly used when talking about how the Scandinavians live their life and one that is practised in my house everyday. No matter if it's cold, stormy, sunshine, rainbows, cloudy etc we are out and about enjoying our day.

To me this phrase promotes that even in stormy days, life is bright and wonderful adventures are to be had. If we spent our time waiting for the sunny skies, we would miss all the adventures on the other days. I just love this quote more and more. So simple, yet so profound.

I do however love living in Melbourne because our weather is quite neutral, no harsh winters or summers. We also have quite consistant weather patterns, if you track it like I do. I do this so I know what to wear. Winter is chilly, so warm thermals and shoes solve any uncomfortable feelings. Spring is wet and mostly cold in the mornings, with the sun shining strong in the afternoons, so I try to remember to dress in layers. 

Although I'm mostly prepared for myself, my kids have their own ideas how to dress.
Livy yesterday turned up to a chilly spring morning in her bathers. Eventually she was shivering, she chose to put her jumper on. I find it so empowering to allow my children to choose their outfits at all times and especially on days when the weather is a little cold or hot. I find them both being in tune with natural patterns and becoming aware of the world outside, similarly their own sensations are acknowledged as well. My son for two years has only worn leggings and long sleeve tops, all day, every day. He had an experience on a freezing cold winter day that he will never forget and from that day on he always remembered his jacket.

I provide the appropriate clothes in their cupboards and support my two kids to make decisions what to wear and how to dress themselves. If we lived anywhere else in the world I think Mav would have to assess his fashion sense but he is lucky Melbourne is consistently mild. 

Supportive independent dressing has been a conscious set up in my house. From birth we have invited our children to put in their legs, arms, head etc when putting on their clothes.
Their clothes are in low drawers, easily accessible and I provide a stable chair for extra dressing support. I can see a sense of pride and feelings of competence when my two dress themselves.
I love that Mav has even taught Livy, the Montessori coat flip. (Google it :) ) 

As they are still young, I take the layers with me incase they change their mind or in most cases the weather does. However one day it will be one less thing for me to worry about.


Observe more, enjoy most
Vanessa

Toys, love them or hate them?

Toys - Love them or hate them? That is the question. 

I really do have a love/hate relationship with toys. My house has a designated space for them however they still find their way into every room of the house, even under my covers.

Every couple of months I round up toys that have missing parts, haven't been played with for a while or I deem to be an 'active'  toy (such as toys that light up and sing) and off to the Posh Opp shop or landfill they go. 

We have just had a birthday in our house, so after I write this blog it's time for a toy clean up. I try to get the kids involved, either choose to put the toys in a cupboard or donate them so that I'm not doing it behind their back. However when they loose interest I carry on my mission and purge.
Of course there are times, my son will ask 'where is that blue tool box with the orange hammer?' I will point him to the red tool box but he wants the one I have donated. Whoops! 
My reply is always 'you didn't put it back on the shelf and therefore it has been donated to another child.' (A great tip to encourage packing up.)

Toys or 'play objects' as Magda Gerber describes them, have an important role in helping children to understand their world. Whether they are stacking blocks and learning about balance and gravity, role playing by cooking in their play kitchen, creating their visit to the zoo with magnatiles and wooden animals, the list goes on and on. For children, 'Play' is not about entertainment or distraction from boredom, it's all about learning to navigate their world.

I have come up with a list of how I view toys in my house:  

1. I do not have all toys out at once.
To think about not doing this gives me nightmares, and I am far from a neat freak. 
First of all, it is overwhelming for any adult, let alone a child to pack everything away. 
It is also overwhelming for the children to know what to play with if they have so many choices. They will probably not even go near the toy box and if they do they will just dump it out and not put it back again.

2. I aim to provide 'Passive' toys
It is really important to give your children 'toys' that are open ended and simple. A few benefits is that it provides opportunities to be curious and learn. Magda Gerber refers to these as passive play objects. 
She says: "None do anything.  They will only respond when the infant activates them.  In other words our active infant manipulates passive objects."

3. I offer toys connected to schemas and sensitive periods 
In my latest blog I mentioned schemas and similarly, children also grow through sensitive periods which are periods of readiness to learn. Many of these sensitive periods are between ages 0-6years. Use your observation and knowledge of your own child, to ensure that the 'toys' you provide are meeting their individual needs.  For example, if your child is expressing urges to throw and dump, make sure you have balls and buckets. If your child has a particular interest in geography, provide a world map puzzle or Atlas. 

Taking time to observe your child will help create a space for them to learn and grow. A space is more likely to remain orderly and maintained if the children have a sense that the play objects have purpose and provide nourishment for their exploration. 

I think first I should tidy my own room and then I'll tackle the 'Playroom' 

Observe more, enjoy most 
Vanessa

Why all the fuss about 'Play'?

Scrolling my Facebook, I have countless articles on the topic of 'play'.
Play seems like such a simple topic. Give the kids the toys and they will play.
Whats the big deal?

Well...

Children play in order to understand their world and you could say that this is true for adults too.
However somewhere in our timeline of growing up, play is no longer called play, but called work, leisure, competition etc
When we view play as an expression of children to make sense of their world, giving a child a toy that lights up and makes funny alphabet noises doesn't stack up as something that is worth playing with then. Do you agree?

In the beginning, all babies are content to play with their voice, feet and hands. As the child grows up and becomes a walking, talking member of the family, you will catch them playing in ways that mimic you and the primary caregivers. I'm sure you have all been delighted when your child/children have chosen to clean the floors and wash the dishes. Also during this huge growth period of toddlerdom, children have schemas which need to be expressed, such as ordering, climbing, throwing etc (link below for more information). This is where the 'toys' come into the picture.

Observing your child and seeing what schemas they express can really help you choose 'play objects' that wont just sit in the corner of the playroom. My son would line up all his cars in a row and all his toys need to be neatly put away (lucky for me this sense of positioning is still going strong as he cleans up his toys). He still uses his cars to make car parks, and garages, train stations. So buying him cars and trucks does not go to waste. My daughter, strongly expresses the transporting schema. She loves to fill up cups and jugs and take it to the table. We encourage this as her contribution when setting up the water paints.

Children express more than one schema at one time and change interests as they grow. Observing your child in play will give you lots of clues into what urges they are playing out.

With all the emphasis on children's learning through play, there is one very important point - We adults need not teach anything. We get to relax and have fun, following our child's lead and allowing them to follow their interest and urges.

"When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it himself' 

- Jean Piaget 

Through play children learn language, balance, social etiquette, numbers, reading, different roles in society and the list goes on and on and on.

What a gift we can give to our children when we 'observe more and enjoy most' - Magda Gerber

Be gentle on yourself,
Vanessa






For more information
Schemas: http://www.nature-play.co.uk/blog/schemas-in-childrens-play)